Returning to the cold and snow...

I'm heading back to Boston, MA tomorrow afternoon after an incredibly restful and fun stay here in Hawaii during the holidays. I always have a great time visiting my parents and I look forward to seeing them again soon. They just bought a new condo right near the ocean and in the midst of the Honolulu hub-bub so the next time will be even more exciting!

Well, it's been raining a bit more the past few days, which is typical this time of year. But I'd certainly choose a warm rain over frigid, snowy weather any day! In fact, I heard that there are snowstorms headed through Rhode Island right now.

I'll be back on the blog after I return to Beantown and I'll be sure to keep you updated on the next happenings in my life then.

Looking forward to an awesome year in 2005!

Unconditional love comes in many forms

Jennifer owns two dogs, Dallas (on the left) and Bailey (on the right).



Dallas is the high-energy, vocifierously spunky one--she's a labrador/Australian shepherd mix. Bailey's the quiet, at times lumbering Black Lab, and quite the cuddly one in the family. She's often found curled up on the bed (after having pushed off all the covers with her loveable snout!) in what Jen and I fondly refer to her as "Bailey the Bed Ball."

Dallas, or "Ms. Dallas" as we call her, is quite the character too. She's so incredibly loving and relentlessly obedient. Extremely intelligent and so eager to please. My favorite things about her are the ever-constant sparkle of life and love in her eyes and her playful prances and pounces whenever she sees you or hears her name.

Bailey is also unique; if not in her extreme stubbornness but for her undeniably irresistible cuddly nature. Her sole goals in life are to cuddle, eat, sleep/cuddle, eat, and cuddle some more! One of her favorite things to do (and mine!) is to lie on top of me all sprawled out...belly out no less!...while I'm sitting on the couch rubbing her belly. I swear, she could cuddle in any position, any where, any time!

I'd say that both of these puppies (they're not really puppies anymore--Dallas is 9 yrs. old and Bailey's 7 yrs. old) are examples of unconditional love. No strings attached. Just love.

It's really awesome!

Special love warms the heart and soul

Today is a special day. It represents a date that's very close to my heart and reminds me of how lucky I really am.

Today marks the 4-years and 11-months that I have been blessed to have the love of my life, Jennifer, in my life.

As time passes, it becomes more and more important to cherish and appreciate the relationships in one's life. But having and growing a love relationship requires more than simply sharing warm, cozy, cuddly feelings or saying, "I love you," all the time or giving gifts or even holding one close.

It's hard work. Really hard at times too.

But it's worth the effort--the heartaches, the tears--the pain of miscommunicating...for it's the tough times that test the foundations of what you've got. It's the crises that bend the bonds of love you've forged. All the insecurities, the pettiness, the frustrations, and the fears that threaten to uproot that which you've worked so hard to create, nourish, grow, and deepen.

Yes, it's the "relating" part that counts for what's real between the love in my life and my heart. It's not the fact that we've been together for "such a long time" or that it's been "the longest I've ever been with someone" for each of us that makes it special.

No...our love becomes manifest through daily interaction. Love expresses itself through acts of selflessness and giving without expectation and through kindness and compassion...every day.

It cannot be static for once it stops growing, it starts dying.

I frequently remind myself how lucky and blessed I am and feel for having someone so special and wonderful in my life. Someone I can give all of me to; share all my talents with; be there completely in the moment for; and express love ever so deeply towards.

Indeed, how did I ever get so lucky to have her in my life?

Connect with the moment

Lately, I've realized that I tend to miss out on some of life's most incredible lessons because I get so busy. Doing what you might ask? Well, worrying and thinking too much for instance.

We're caught in a world where it's too easy to get distracted. We wonder about our past decisions and we worry about decisions we might need to make in the future. But what gets lost in the middle is the present moment in our life. And that middle part is the sweet spot.

How many of us have fallen into the trap of wanting to achieve things because somehow (erroneously) we'd believed that we'd be happy once we've acquired those things (e.g. financial gain, social status, etc.)?

Rather than achieving to be happy, it'd be so much more fulfilling if we just "happily achieved."

Rather than regretting things passed or fretting about things yet to be, why not give into that which we can control right now--our present thoughts.

After all, we become what we consistently think about and subsequently act upon at that moment.

I need to connect with my present moment and remind myself constantly to, well, just be.

"What lies behind you and what lies before you are tiny matters compared to what lies within you." -Old proverb

Great book

I've been reading a fantastic book called "The Ancestral Mind, Reclaim the Power" by Dr. Gregg D. Jacobs. The book has been teaching me how to:

• Access life-enhancing positive emotions while minimizing negative ones
• Connect with a more intuitive intelligence and foster a deeper, expanded sense of daily awareness
• Achieve a more integrated concept of self through a closer harmony of intellect and emotion.

In essence, we have a Thinking Mind (TM) and an Ancestral Mind. The TM is the verbal, analytical, conscious and self-absorbed part of our mind, while the Ancestral Mind encompasses the emotional, intuitive, unconscious; is based in experience and represents the self that simply is.

Dr. Jacobs does an incredible job with outlining the evolutionary progression of how the Ancestral Mind has been suppressed by the TM and its influence on our relentless pursuits of material achievements.

One chapter in the book quotes Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, in describing the Ancestral Mind at work (or at play?), uninhibited by the rationalizations and self-consciousness of the TM:

"What slips below the threshold of awareness is the concept of self. People stop being aware of themselves as separate from the actions they are performing. And being able to forget temporarily who we are seems to be very enjoyable. Loss of the sense of self separate from the world around it can lead to a feeling of union with the environment, self-transcendence, and a feeling that the boundaries of our being have been pushed forward, so that the person is transported into a new reality, to previously undreamed-of states of consciousness. The hallmark feelings that result from this state of consciousness are joy, awe and wonderment."

Have you ever been so immersed in an experience that you lost all track of time? I know that whenever I am in the midst of nature's awesome beauty and grace (like witnessing a majestic sunrise) or even jamming on my guitar for 8 straight hours...I lose all sense of self and I am just there...living and being present in the moment.

I think we'd all be more balanced and a whole lot less stressed to the max if we find those moments in our lives more often...even on a daily basis!

I highly recommend this book and I can't wait to finish reading it and more importantly putting the exercises into practice. Sometimes I ought to stop thinking so much and living in the past (regret?) or projecting in the future (worry?) and being here...right now.

In the now

One thing I've always enjoyed is music. In particular, singing and performing have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. In fact, I'm still taking vocal lessons (at the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston, MA) and perform once in a while.

The last time I performed was in front of over 2,500 people at a national convention and I still remember the emotions that I felt.

Before singing, I wasn't really nervous...but I did have adrenaline pumping through me. I kept thinking to myself, "I am going to love sharing my talent with them!"

During the performance, it dawned on me that I was right there...in the now...taking it all in and giving it my best. Kind of surreal really. I mean, I was singing and being mindful of staying technically on (you know, not wanted to 'crack' or get out of tune!), and at the same time I was paying heed to the actual expression and artistic aspect so as to connect with the audience. But then, somehow, I was outside of this whole experience. Letting it soak my soul and simply being there.

It was quite electrifying and emotional-laden, especially after I finished singing and saw everyone jump to their feet with wonderful appreciation and shouts of encouraging applause and yelps of joy! What a feeling of love in that room and indeed, the connection was palpable among all of us.

It's a "high" that I'd hope anyone could experience. Just feeling the love and experiencing true joy for being alive...in the moment...right then, there, and now.

Like a phoenix...it's time to rise again

Many of you know me to be a nutrition coach...a physique transformation specialist. Well, the reason why I've chosen to work in this capacity is mostly due to the fact that I used to be obese and out-of-shape myself and was able to get in-shape through successful, what I like to call FAD-FREE, dieting.

When I was fat, I felt the pain and frustration of the consequences of over-eating and under-exercising. Low self-esteem, low confidence, low energy. But perhaps the most painful and traumatizing experiences were when I LOST weight and then GAINED it all back and then some.

It's a horrible (unhealthy) cycle that so many others have experienced. And by no means have I finally licked this challenge of staying in shape. Au contraire folks. As recently as last summer, I've struggled quite a bit with my personal fitness (much of which will be explained in my third book due out next year). It's a story that I hope will help others understand that weight control is a lifetime process.

"Before" and "After" pictures are fun to see and impressive to some. But these are literally snapshots in the time continuum of healthy existence and the fitness lifestyle. Even elite athletes have their ups and lows (sometimes devastating lows).

Here are a set of mine from a couple of years ago:

Me in January 2002:



Me in September 2002:



So, with that, I will be posting weekly photos of my physique on my Message Board (again, it's a service that does require a small monthly charge) as I strive to achieve lean-elite levels of conditioning.

It's what I must do. It's what I love deep down. It's time to step up and get it done.

Another day...

...in paradise truly soothes the soul. I've been enjoying my stay here in Hawaii with the folks. I've missed them quite a bit since they've moved here five years ago from upstate New York (Rochester).

I can only imagine how hard it must be to move from a place where all your roots have grown firm and deep. Mom and dad had made many, many friends during the 25 years that they worked and lived in NY. Makes you want to cherish those people who are close to you when you think about the possibilities of moving away from them.

My Message Board

I've been working on updating and tweaking my Message Board/Fitness Forum over the past few weeks and I think it's been going fairly well. We have a handful of registrants and a good number of useful posts being shared.

Again, you can check it out here.

There is a small monthly fee associated with joining this forum though. Just go to my website products page and order Item #1006 to gain full access.

Okie dokie, now that I've presented the marketing portion of my blog, it's off to other things to tell.

I've been cranking on my fitness program thus far. (Details can be seen...well, at my forum!) It feels awesome to get the body moving and sweating and exerting energy! I feel ALIVE!

Mom, my aunt, and I took an evening stroll around the neighborhood and it was a clear night with a temperate breeze. It really is a beautiful place here in Hawaii. Quite a different pace and a unique 'feel' from what I'm used to.

Very soothing to the soul...

Visualization

My fitness goal is quite simple this year. I intend to get back to and surpass the shape and conditioning that I had achieived in 2002:



At my peak I measured between 5-7% body fat and weighed roughly 136 lbs. (I'm 5'4" tall). It felt amazing to be trim and still strong as most of my lifts at the gym hit personal bests:

Legs
Barbell squat: 265 lbs. x 6 reps
Leg Press: 765 lbs. x 6 reps

Chest
Incline Dumbbell Press: 85 lbs. x 6 reps

Shoulders
Seated Overhead Press: 70 lbs. x 5 reps

Arms
Standing Barbell Curl: 105 lbs. x 5 reps
Standing Alternate Dumbbell Curl: 45 lbs. x 5 reps

Back
Weighted Pull-ups: Bodyweight+45 lbs. x 4 reps

While I look back on some of these numbers/pictures, it can be very discouraging to think, "How the heck did I lose this all? What's wrong with me? Why am I so weak? How could I succumb to such a steady decline to where I am today compared to where I used to be?"

But, these thoughts are simply destructive and lead to never-ending frustration and worse yet, inaction.

For this month I have re-committed to getting back on the track that I know I have paved before. Much of the work will be mental. Intense visualization helps bridge that oft-perceived daunting and discouraging gap between where I am and where I must be.

I know I have been there before. I have the tools and knowledge to get there. But now it's time to shut up and move.

Know pain, know gain.

Waking up in paradise...

I'm a tad jet-lagging as I've been awake since 4:00 a.m. and zoning in and out of sleep until 6:00 a.m. or so. But it's not such a bad thing as I witness the majestic sunrise gradually piercing the morning wisps of cloud cover over the vast Pacific ocean.

It's been quite a bit breezy over the past couple of days. Sounds like a freight train rushing outside my bedroom window at times!

Mom and dad's house is on the Hawaii Loa Ridge and the exposure to the elements is a given...but then again, so is the awesome view of the Diamondhead volcanic crater:



Today I will be spending some quality time with mom and dad. I missed seeing them for most of yesterday as dad was in Maui seeing patients (he visits a GI clinic over there on a regular basis) and mom had a very early procedure to do (she was up at 3:00 a.m.!) for her work as a psychiatrist.

I'm proud of 'Popsicles' (my fond name for dad!) as he's already lost 15 pounds over the past few weeks since starting his new, nutritious eating program! Very proud of him!

Well, I intend to continue 'blogging' over the next 3-1/2 weeks, however I'm not entirely sure how to focus its content.

Part of me wants to blab on and on like the TV program, Gilmore Girls, (Jennifer, you KNOW what I mean!) about my life and all the happenings in it--trivial or significant.

Another part is compelled to share nutrition and fitness concepts like those found on my website and forum.

And yet another wants to share motivational thoughts, philosophical musings, comical relief, and random acts of jargon.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll share it all? These blogs are rather cathartic in a way.

Ah well, back to my sunrise...

Alooooooha!

I arrived safe and sound in the tropical paradise that is Hawaii, USA last night around 8:00 p.m. (Hawaii time) / 1:00 a.m. (EST). The flight was quite smooth for most of the 11 hours in the air--non-stop from Newark, NJ--with only a minor delay at take-off. We had to turn around on the take-off strip and head back to the gate in Newark due to a hydraulics malfunction (ended up being an indicator issue rather than a 'real' problem...*whew*).

The plane was pretty cool. Continental Airlines had each passenger seat hooked up with its own video console / entertainment handset so you could watch TV programs (like 3 CSI episodes back-to-back-to-back!) or a few movies (I chose Hero with Jet Li...more comments on this later) and even play some video games like solitaire, poker, and chess.

The food was your regular plane fare. Not too exciting and definitely not too nutritious. I was shaking my head as I read some of the ingredients in the faux potato salad snack that came with my cheese pocket sandwich at lunchtime...a dietetic nightmare! (Yeah, I ate it anyway...).

It was great to see mom, dad, and my aunt (mom's sister who's visiting from the Philippines and staying with my folks for a few months). I was beat tired. When we got home, I ate some awesome home-cooked food, watched a few minutes of Lethal Weapon 4 (with Jet Li nonetheless) and hit the hay.

It's now 6:58 a.m. Hawaii time but my body 'thinks' it's 11:58 a.m. (EST)!

Crazy jet-lag...